Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
