If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
