Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
