the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
