That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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