Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
