It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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