i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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