yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
