Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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