moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
