Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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