well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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