she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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