Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
