My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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