ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We're too hungover to prance.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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