so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
