Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
one might say we're banned from that church
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
