I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
