That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
