TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
