i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
