yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
