i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
