Cold hands, warm shart.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
