He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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