you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
