I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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