Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
