Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
