marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
