I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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