I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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