I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
