Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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