i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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