Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes

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(734): View more from Michigan

Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.

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(720): View more from Colorado

This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning

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(214): View more from Texas

Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.

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(360): View more from Washington

These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold

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