So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
