thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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