somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
