is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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