The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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