Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
