He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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