Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
