The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I can't turn off my feet"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
