Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
