Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
