When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
