I bet he comes in French.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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